My top pick for tips on how to catch cheating is this book by Sarah Paul

Archive for October, 2008

Why Do Married Men Cheat? - No Simple Answers

Sunday, October 26th, 2008

You get the chock of your life to return home from work to find your husband in bed with another woman. This scenario is often the way many women find out their husbands are cheating on them. It could also be a man that is in your bed with your husband and you are shocked to discover that your husband has been secretly gay all these years. Whether it is a gay or heterosexual marriage, you will look for answers to why do married men cheat. You will find that answering this question is not easy because there are so many factors involved.

Many married men cheat because the opportunity is there and they think they won’t get caught. Men who travel for business, for example, have the perfect opportunity to pick up a woman in the hotel bar and the wife waiting at home will never have any inkling of the one-night stand. It could also be a woman he meets at the gym who just want to have a fun time together. He still loves you, but is looking for something different and possible engage in sexual activities that he would never ask of you or figure you won’t want to engage in.

For some men, cheating on their wives makes then feel big and important in their own minds. It boosts their ego that they have what women want and can easily pick up women. They are simply adding names to their lists to see how many women they can say they have had. On times, they just want to prove that women still find them attractive and he enjoys the thrill of the chase. The excitement of sneaking around and not getting caught also adds to his ego when he thinks that he won’t get caught.

After a while all relationships start to wane and spouses tend to grow apart. If your spouse feels that you are neglecting him or don’t want to spend time with him anymore, he may start to look elsewhere to have his needs met. Maybe both of your interests have changed and he meets someone with whom he has more in common now than he does with you. While he may not engage in the affair with the aim of finding someone new on a permanent basis or is just looking for a little attention, it could grow into something more the longer it continues.

Many men fall out of love with their wives or their sex life has drastically decreased or become nonexistent. He will then start looking for someone new to fulfill his needs and start enjoying life like he once did. This is not to say it is the wives fault when men cheat, but it just happens that way. While the discovery of the unfaithfulness may be what it takes to end the marriage, for all intents and purposes, it was over long before this and both of you just didn’t want to admit it.

Cheating Boyfriends - How To Know He’s Moved On

Sunday, October 19th, 2008

It may be a little harder to discover cheating boyfriends when you don’t live together and are not together all the time. However, once you get a suspicion that your boyfriend is cheating, you will become amore aware of the signs and these are the same whether you are in gay or heterosexual relationship. The first inclination is the gut feeling that you have that your boyfriend is distancing himself from you. There may be more and more excuses why you can’t go out together or he may be harder to reach on the phone, having it turned off or not answering your calls. The best advice is to go with your gut feeling sand assume that there is something wrong, but be careful not to start accusing him too quickly.

Most men have a standard routine. If you notice a distinct or sudden change in this routine, such as working more, going out with his buddies more often or having a drink more than usual., this could be a sign that there is someone else and his behavior patterns are starting to change to meet this person’s schedule. This is especially true if he hasn’t told you about any of his changes of plans. It is only natural that everyone wants to improve by going on a diet or start a workout routine, but if this is a sudden change of heart, you should take it as a warning.

All relationships have their ups and downs and intimacy may be decreased at times. When you notice a decline in intimacy between you, reflect on whether or not it has been like this in the past at any time and what brought it on. Try various things such as trying to initiate intimacy and see how he reacts. Does he act the same as he always did or does he just put on an act and really gives you the feeling that he doesn’t want to be with you? He may give you a little peck on the cheek, where he would usually give you a hug and a big kiss. When you walk in the park, he may now not hold your hand, where this used to be the normal routine.

You may find yourself alone more often because he is spending more time away from you and is occupied in other activities. Delve into the activities to see whether this is really part of his work due to more demands on his time. Ask about his activities and see if he will share any details with you. If he doesn’t want to talk about where he has been and what he is doing, it may be time to start asking questions. You do have to be prepared for the answers because he may tell you there is someone else and he wants out of the relationship. Even though you will be hurt, it is best to find out early to avoid being hurt more later down the road.

Why Do Men Cheat? Hurt Wives Want to Know

Sunday, October 12th, 2008

There is no one answer to the question “Why do men cheat?” Nor is there a simple answer to this question. For some it is just because the opportunity presented itself and they thought they could do cheat without getting caught. However, there are three categories that cheating men usually fall into - those with low self-esteem, those who have an unhappy marriage and those who just want fun without making any commitments.

Men who have low self-esteem often want to have more than one woman just to confirm that they are needed and attractive. They hop from one affair to another seeking the attention that they need. Once they have one woman, they look for someone better and never seem to be satisfied with what they have. Counselors say that some of these men have feelings of emotional deprivation stemming from their younger days and they always have doubts about their worthiness.

Added to this, these men who cheat are often very competitive in their world of work and leisure, always trying to be better than their peers. They try to impress their peers with their performance and this translates into their cheating. Usually they do not make a secret of their affairs and feel as if they brag about their affairs they gain a name for themselves, but it is often in a way different from what they intend. They gather women to increase their feelings of self-worth. They may or may not be married with a happy home life. They have a never-ending search to prove something to themselves that they can get women whenever they want.

Some men cheat to get away from an unhappy home life. They do not want to sever their relationship with their spouse because there are children involved. So they figure that if they have an affair it will give them the emotional stability and the feeling of being loved and needed that they need. They believe that if they have an affair it will help them to resolve their issues of being unhappy. When these men cheat, they have no intentions of having a long term affair or of ending their marriage or relationship with their partner. In this case, there is a problem because it prevents the problems at home from becoming resolved because they are pushed to the backburner.

Men who are afraid of making a commitment to one woman often have many affairs. As soon as they think that the woman is starting to look for something more permanent, then they end the affair by cheating with another woman. They do live living with someone for the sense of safety they have of having a person to come to at the end of the day, but will not formalize the arrangement with marriage. They enjoy the fun aspect of it and as soon as they perceive the fun is gone out of the relationship, they start looking for someone who will provide them with the fun they crave.

Adultery - Definition May Vary From Place to Place

Sunday, October 5th, 2008

In the dictionary, the adultery definition is “engaging in voluntary sexual activity with a married partner who is not one’s spouse”. In legal terms, it is often defines as a crime against marriage and is not exactly the same as infidelity. The common theme is that at least one of the partners in the sexual activity is married to someone else. It differs from infidelity in that infidelity does not necessarily involve sexual relations.

In this day of partners living together as a married couple without the legal license, there have been changes made to the definition. In the state of New York, for example, adultery is defined as meaning “engaging in sexual activity with someone other than one’s living partner.” North Carolina law defines it as a man and woman cohorting or sleeping together when one or both is married and in Minnesota, the law states that id a woman sleeps with a man who is not her husband, both are guilty of adultery.

Adultery has always been condemned in society, even though it is widely practiced. In some cultures it is punishable by death. It has always been grounds for divorce, but the circumstances have changed somewhat over the centuries. In Napoleonic times, a man could file for divorce if his wife was caught with another man, but the same was not true for the wife, if she caught her husband with another woman. In this case, the interpretation of the term refers only to a woman having sexual relations with another man. Such action was condoned for the male partner.

Adultery is illegal in Mexico, Korea, Taiwan and in some US states. A man or woman found guilty of adultery in Pennsylvania is subject to 2 years in jail or 18 months of treatment for insanity. In Michigan, the punishment could be life imprisonment. Maryland, on the other hand, only imposes a fine of $10 while other states impose a fine of $100. Married members of the US military found guilty of sleeping with a different partner could be court martialed. There are no laws concerning adultery in Canada, only to use it as grounds for a divorce.

While most people accept the dictionary definition of adultery, it is usually regarded as an immoral act, breaking the seventh commandment - Thou shalt not commit adultery. When it is used as grounds for a divorce, it does not necessarily mean that this is the only problem a married couple has. It usually means that this was the culminating point at which they realized the marriage was over and that one partner could not forgive the other for the transgression. There were likely many incidences leading up to the breaking point or the point at which the adulterous party sought the comfort of another man or woman.

Many divorces in states where adultery is illegal use other terms for the grounds, such as irreconcilable differences, so that there will not be other charges involved. There does have to be undisputed proof presented in court to prove that adultery has taken place.