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How Do You Deal With Cheating in Marriage?

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Dealing with cheating in marriage is something that is very hard to do. For some they react with anger when they discover the infidelity and others are more passive in their reaction, taking the attitude that as long as they come home what difference does it make if they are with someone else. However, cheating can do a lot of damage to a marriage to the betrayed spouse who feels that his/her trust has been misplaced and their the whole marriage has been a lie. The thing about reacting passively and not making a big deal of it is actually giving the spouse permission to have as many affairs as possible.

When the unfaithfulness is revealed or discovered, the best way of dealing with it is to open the lines of communication between the two of you. Although it may be hurtful, you will need answers as to why and how the affair started and why it continued. There will be tears and words of anger, but this is necessary to get the hurt out of te way so both of you can get past the affair and start mending the relationship to build it back to what you once had. When you have open and honest communication, you find out whether there are problems in the marriage that you didn’t realize existed and you can discuss ways of resolving them.

If you don’t know for sure that your spouse is cheating on you and have nothing to go on but a feeling, then you do need to find the evidence that will either confirm or deny those suspicions. It is important not to confront your spouse too soon without evidence to back you up, because there is a chance that he/she is not cheating. However, it is essential that you do take the steps needed to find out for sure as soon as possible while there is still a chance of saving your marriage.

Marriage counselors can help you talk with one another about your feelings and help you determine if there is anything left of the relationship to salvage. If there isn’t it is best to go your separate ways so that both of you can be happy. This is really hard when there are children involved, not to mention the financial obligations that have to be worked out. Dividing the assets can often be a stressful as finding out about the affair as the betrayed spouse will want to take everything as an act of revenge.

The cheating spouse has to be really honest about the reasons for the affair. Even if it was not intentional and just happened, he/she has to explain the situations that led to the affair so that the spouse can understand that it didn’t have anything to do with him/her or the marriage. An apology has to be given and accepted in order for the couple to move on. It is hard to forgive and will take time to get over the feelings of betrayal.

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