My top pick for tips on how to catch cheating is this book by Sarah Paul

Forgiving Emotional Infidelity - How To Move On

Forgiving emotional infidelity is much easier than forgiving an actual affair. This is because many people do not believe that such a thing exists. This type of infidelity refers to thinking about and craving intimacy from someone other than one’s spouse. It also refers to a strong friendship between two people of the opposite sex when one or both of them is married. You never know what someone else is thinking so how do you know if your spouse is cheating on you in his her mind? Many men and women laugh it off and say as long as the spouse doesn’t have an affair, they can think what they like.

However, this type of infidelity can be just as damaging to a relationship as if your spouse had actually slept with someone else. There is more than just thinking about this person involved. It starts out as a friendship and your spouse gets more comfort from the friendship than she does from you. In the friendship, your spouse tells the friend intimate details of your relationship and seeks comfort forma any problems in your marriage. In this affair there is no actual sexual intimacy, which is why your spouse may not consider it cheating.

This type of infidelity is different from an ordinary friendship in that it takes your spouse away from you and your home. Just as if he/she was having an affair, your spouse will devise excuses for leaving the house to meet the friend. It could be a coworker and they have lunch and drinks after work together. There is no secrecy involved in a platonic relationship, but in this type of infidelity, your spouse works very hard at keeping it from you. There is a sexual attraction, which they may or may not act on and take the unfaithfulness to the next level.

For most people, it is easier to forgive an emotional affair knowing that there is no sexual activity involved. It means that you have to bring it to your spouse’s attention that you notice that things have changed and you want to know what is going on. He/She will admit that there is another person, but will adamantly stress that nothing is going on. You should discuss the reasons your spouse is dawn to this other person and see if you can come up with ways of salvaging your relationship. Your spouse will likely be surprised to learn that you have been feeling neglected and will tell you that there is still love in the marriage.

Once you are sure that your spouse does love you, you should ask that he/she stop seeing this person so often. You could also ask if you can meet the other friend. This is a solution though that could make the situation worse because your spouse may take it as permission to continue and even take the affair further. The best thing is to ask your spouse to end the friendship so that you can work harder at making your marriage work. When you learn the reasons why this friendship developed so strongly, then both of you have a starting point from which you can start to rebuild your lives together.