My top pick for tips on how to catch cheating is this book by Sarah Paul

Getting Unfaithful Women to Open Up About the Affair

Unfaithful women cause the same feelings of hurt and anger in a relationship as unfaithful men. Once a man does discover that his wife has been having an affair and cheating on him, he has the same questions that need answers as women do. The first question is Why? Why did you have an affair? What did I do to cause this? Every betrayed spouse feels that it is his/her fault and want to know what can be done to make the situation right. Therefore, it is essential to sit down and have a frank and open discussion about the affair and the circumstances that led up to it so that you can get past it and move on.

Why did you have the affair? This is the most important of all the questions and in some cases the one that is hardest to answer. If there has been trouble in the marriage, maybe the answers will relate back to this and what went wrong. If this is the case, this is a good starting point for the healing to begin because both partners know what the problem is and can set about finding a solution. Quite often they are unable to resolve their problems on their own and need the services of a marriage counselor.

Most affairs are unplanned and just happen by accident with friendship leading to something more. The answer to the question of why it happened is harder to give and quite often the partner will say “I don’t know” or “It just happened”. While this is the truth, it is not a sufficient answer for the husband, who may then become even angrier or feel that the wife does not want to end the affair or does not take the situation seriously.

Another question that men will likely ask of their unfaithful partner is if they felt guilty about having sex with another man. This will help to get at the woman’s real feelings. Talk about the feelings because there is no doubt that there are feelings of guilt and remorse involved. It hard to pin down exactly why one would go back again for more of the guilt. Many she rationalized her actions by saying that she didn’t have any feelings for this other man and that no one was getting hurt by her actions.

If she knew it was wrong why did she allow it to continue? This is another question that men will need an answer for. Time after time she may have fully intended to end the relationship, but just can’t seem to work up the courage or the determination to do so. Even though it is important to understand why the affair started in the first place, it is just as important to understand why it continued. Was it the great sex that kept it going? If so, what can you do in your relationship now to put that same spark back there. However, in this respect the man will always be trying to measure up to the other man.

Frank and open discussions are necessary to get past the unfaithfulness and rebuild the relationship.