The Statistics About Marital Infidelity
You can’t deny the statistics that show that about 60% of men and 40% of women are unfaithful to their spouses. However, these statistics only deal with those who admitted to the infidelity. The percentages are actually higher than this because there are many men and women involved in affairs about which their partners have no knowledge. They may also have had affairs in the past and ended them before anyone found out. Marital infidelity is another term for adultery, which is regarded as a crime in some locations.
Statistics are just numbers and do not even touch the surface of what a discovery of infidelity does to people’s lives. It is a traumatic experience to discover that the love of one’s life is sleeping with someone else. It cause grief and pain to the point that you feel you will never recover or be able to trust your spouse again. Anger is usually the first reaction with remarks being made that are full of blame and hurt. Sometimes, these comments are so hurtful that it is they and not the infidelity itself that causes the relationship to shatter. It causes emotional scars that will not heal easily and are not visible to others.
The first thing you have to look at is why the infidelity happened in the first place. The only way to delve into this is to have a discussion in which both of you lay your cards on the table and get everything out in the open. Experts place the reasons for extramarital affairs into categories, which include:
* Avoiding conflict at home by seeking comfort elsewhere
* Sexual addiction
* Avoiding intimacy with a partner that does not meet one’s sexual needs
Having an affair does not necessarily mean there is trouble in your marriage. Quite often there is no planning involved - it just happens. A sudden change in one’s life could lead to feelings of loneliness or boredom, such as when the children all leave home. To the outsider, there is nothing to suggest that one of the partners is even having an affair.
When a marriage is in trouble, having an affair is never the way to solve the problems. This only makes matters worse and leads to further stress in trying to keep it a secret. The first step in dealing with infidelity is to admit it and get it out in the open. It is much better to admit the affair rather than be caught by your partner because for some reason, it is easier to deal with when discovered in this way.
Once the affair is revealed, you can discuss what you want to do next. The reasons why the infidelity occurred have to come out, even it if means hurting your partner even more. You do have to be sincere in you apology and not only promise it won’t happen again, but you have to take steps to ensure that it doesn’t. That is, if you want to save your marriage.