My top pick for tips on how to catch cheating is this book by Sarah Paul

What Is Emotional Adultery and How Do I Deal With It?

You don’t have to sleep with another person to commit adultery. Emotional adultery is flirting with another person outside of marriage. You do have to have sex to cheat on your spouse. The thing is that many people do not realize that they are doing anything wrong by flirting with another person, sending emails with sexual undertones or hanging out with members of the opposite sex at a get together. Most people just think of this as socializing without doing any harm.

When you take steps to bring this kind of action to an end, you could be doing your marriage one of the biggest favors of all. This is not because such activities may lead to something more, but engaging in this activity takes your focus away from the sanctity of your marriage and your relationship with your spouse. You did make a vow of commitment when you got married and this includes all ways of leading or coming on to members of the opposite sex.

Some may ask what harm is there in having a friendship with a person of the opposite gender. It is not the friendship that is in question, but the types of things you talk about and the way you behave around each other. Every friendship doesn’t lead to an affair. If it did, there would be far more extramarital affairs than there are. Those who claim that such intimate things as sharing an off-color joke with a friend or making a sexual comment is adultery involving emotions.

Some of the things that could be regarded as emotional cheating include:

* You find a particular joke really funny and tell it to all your coworkers, but not your spouse
* You feel more comfortable in confiding problems you have at work with a coworker of the opposite sex but your spouse does not know anything about your problems
* You spend your lunch time at a restaurant with a coworker and go out for drinks after work
* You flirt with people at parties, in the office and even with friends that come to your home
* You feel that when you feel turned on by the flirting that you are actually helping your marriage
* You spend a lot of time finding the perfect gift for a member of the opposite sex, but you just pick up the first thing you find as a gift for your spouse
* You share information about the intimate details of your sex life with another person

All of these are signs that you could be committing adultery in an emotional way. The fact is that you are spending more energy in entertaining your coworkers and friends than you are in making sure your spouse is happy. Why don’t you sit and talk with your spouse about he/she feels about these things. You may be surprised to learn that your spouse has been hurt by your comments and flirting on times, but didn’t bother to mention it.