You can be guilty of emotional infidelity without ever actually cheating on your partner. This type of infidelity refers to thinking about what it would be like to sleep with someone other than your partner and even to fantasize about such an event. In this role, you are something like an actor preparing for a role or a writer creating a scene in a story. You would rehearse what you would say and how you would act. For some it is a daydream that keeps them going as they think about various situations in which they could have an affair with this person and what it would be like.

The person that you fantasize about may not be a person that you have met or are friends with. It could be a movie star or singer that you have seen on TV or read about in a magazine. It could be a close friend in whom you have confided secrets or a person that has helped you over a rough patch in your marriage or relationship. Through the sharing and the advice you receive, you form an emotional attachment to this person and you carve being in his/her presence. The thing is your feelings may never be reciprocated and this person may not have any more feelings for you beyond friendship.

When you let this type of infidelity control your thoughts and feelings, you may be moving farther away from your partner who then starts to feel neglected and left out. The thing is that many people do not even realize that fantasizing about being with someone other than their partner is actually infidelity because you are not being faithful to him/her in your thoughts and feelings.

So how can you set the boundaries between being unfaithful emotionally and ordinary friendship, especially if it is with someone you don’t even know on a personal level? If you tend to form imaginary emotional attachments to people you see on television, try to limit the amount of television you watch or change the types of shows you watch. Limit the number of magazines you buy that give details about the lives of stars. Some women tend to fantasize about the heroes and heroines they read about in novels. If this description fits you, then you should try to limit the number of these books that you read. When you surf the net, try not to go into pornographic sites. These also introduce you to pictures that may cause you to be unfaithful to your partner in your fantasies.

When you do have a close friendship with a neighbor or a co-worker, try not to become too attached emotionally by not revealing too many secrets about your life. You can ask advice and still keep the friendship on an impersonal level so that this person cannot get to know too much about you. Even at business meetings over dinner, ask if partners can come along so that you won’t let yourself slip up and actually cheat when you shouldn’t.