My top pick for tips on how to catch cheating is this book by Sarah Paul

What To Do If You Suspect Spousal Infidelity

When you suspect that your spouse is cheating on you, it is very likely that you are correct. With spousal infidelity you do know your spouse’s habits and therefore will be able to spot discrepancies or sudden changes. Every case is different and what mya be a warning sign in one couple’s relationship may not be a sign in your relationship. Also, there is no one sign that you can point to, but rather it is a collection of little things that will give you some suspicion. You do have to try to be impartial and not interpret everything as a sign of cheating.

Some of the signs to be aware of:

* Spending longer periods of time away from home
* A decrease in lovemaking with you
* Tends to be easily distracted and you find him/her daydreaming a lot
* You often can’t reach your spouse when you call the office
* Does not invite you to attend office or work-related functions any more
* Doesn’t return you calls right away like before
* Uses the computer when you are not around or is secretive about the Internet activity
* Uses the Internet when you are asleep
* Asks about when you will be out of the house quite frequently
* The mileage on the family vehicle is higher than normal
* A scent of perfume or aftershave on clothing that is different from yours
* Unexplained charges on the credit card
* Seems to have more cash on hand than normal
* Unexplained numbers on the telephone bill
* Uses a phone card
* Starts deleting email messages
* Starts deleting the callers’ list from the telephone

When you do add up more than one of these signs, you should start a casual conversation asking about the sudden changes you notice in your spouse’s behavior. Mention that you have noticed the changes and you want to know if there is anything wrong. If your spouse become defensive, wants to change the subject or switched the subject onto you and something you have done wrong, then you could then bring up what you think is going on. It is likely that your spouse will deny that he/she is having an affair. However, if the affair has reached the point where your spouse wants to get everything out in the open then this is a chance for the admission to come out.

You can expect to be hurt and angry, but you probably already area because of your suspicions. You will want to know why and how this affair developed and why your spouse didn’t tell you about it before now. This is the time for a frank discussion about your marriage and if there is anything left to salvage. If your spouse says that there is still love there for you, then the first step is to apologize and to end the affair immediately. Both of you may need to have some space to calm down and then sit down for a rational discussion without shouting or making accusations you may later regret.

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