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Why Do People Commit Adultery? What Drives Their Decision?

Adultery has become so commonplace in society toady that it is rare to hear of a marriage lasting for many years. Why do people commit adultery? Why do they get married if they do not want this person to be their partner for the rest of their lives? Everyone seems to assume that when they hear of someone having an extramarital affair that there are problems in the marriage. This is not the case as affairs occur in just as many good marriages as bad ones. In fact the spouse may never even know that the husband or wife is cheating and think that everything is fine.

Marriage counselors will tell you that in the cases they see the extramarital affairs are not related in any way to the other spouse. The problem lies within the cheating spouse - trying to prove something to himself/herself or others. The spouse is trying to mask any problems that he/she has by having an affair thinking that this will make them go way or help to forget about them. People just don’t decide on a whim to have an affair. Most of the time they happen by accident. They meet someone in the office or at the gym and get to know this person netter. One flirtatious comment leads to another and so on until an affair blossoms.

Once a couple has children, their married life changes. They have more responsibilities and less time to go out whenever they feel like it. The financial situation also changes with more expenses and the costs of childcare. Added to this is the role that society places on men and women in marriage. Women tend to take over the role of looking after the house and the children and men usually take care of the outside chores. When both partners work, there has to be a sharing of these roles so that one or the other doesn’t become overwhelmed.

When disagreements arise over this side of the marriage, they tend to build over time. Little things add up and then comes a big explosion. While women want to talk things out and set about making changes, men often just want to remove themselves from the situation to cool down. In this case one of the spouses leaves the house hurt and angry and goes to a place where he/she can meet up with friends. Sometimes these friends are members of the opposite sex who are good listeners and can provide emotional comfort.

There are men and women who do commit adultery because they like the excitement of doing something secretive and trying not to get caught. You also have others for whom one partner is never enough and they always want something different or better. There are cases where spouses cheat because they are unhappy with their home life. They feel bored or lonely and are just looking for something to help fill their hours. Whichever reason exists for the affair, the result is that you will hurt your partner and possibly destroy your marriage.

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